Being There: Why Prioritizing Motherhood in the First Three Years Matters

Erica Komisar, a veteran psychoanalyst, examines why a mother's emotional and physical presence during a child's first three years contributes to the child's emotional health, happiness, security, and resilience. The book takes a compassionate, balanced approach focused on the wellbeing of both children and mothers. Drawing on more than two decades of clinical work, psychoanalytic theory, and current neurobiological research on caregiving, attachment, and brain development, the book addresses practical topics including establishing emotional connection with newborns and young children, easing transitions to reduce stress, selecting and training childcare, and addressing postpartum depression or boredom. It also examines common beliefs about parenting and discusses why three months of maternity leave may be insufficient, while offering guidance on how parents can make choices to meet their family's emotional needs during the first three years.