It’s OK That You’re Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn’t Understand

In It's OK That You're Not OK, therapist Megan Devine offers a new approach to grief and loss. She challenges the cultural expectation that grief should be quickly resolved, arguing instead that grief is a natural response to loss—not a disease requiring a cure. Drawing on her experience as both a therapist and someone who witnessed the accidental drowning of her partner, Devine explores the unspoken truths of loss and healing. She rejects the goal of returning to a "normal" life, proposing instead that people build a life alongside grief rather than seeking to overcome it. The book addresses why common advice and well-meaning support often fail those grieving. It examines myths about grief—including stages, timetables, and prescribed timelines—and presents grief as a mystery to be honored rather than a problem to solve. Devine provides practical guidance for managing stress, sleep, and anxiety during grief, along with essays, checklists, and suggestions for supporting others through loss. The book speaks to people who feel judged or misunderstood by a culture that wants to "solve" grief.