Us: Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship

Stop focusing solely on self-improvement and instead work on your relationship as a couple. Terrence Real, a family therapist and author of The New Rules of Marriage, offers guidance for building stronger intimate connections. Loving your partner fully is both difficult and essential. Real observes in his therapy practice how toxic individualism damages relationships, leading to repetitive conflicts or emotional distance between partners. He argues that a winner-takes-all culture infiltrates families with harmful consequences. Us presents a science-backed skillset designed to help you move beyond automatic reactions and access a more collaborative mindset. Real uses stories of couples whose relationships improved through these tools, while also examining the cultural patterns that reinforce relationship dysfunction. The book guides you toward transforming your relationship into one based on compassion, collaboration, and closeness—moving from separate "you" and "me" perspectives toward a shared "us."