An Abbreviated Life: A Memoir

Ariel Leve grew up in Manhattan with an eccentric mother described as a poet, artist, self-appointed troublemaker, and attention seeker. As a child, Leve learned to parent herself, managing both her own needs and her mother's. Her upbringing was marked by unpredictable rages, denial, disavowed responsibility, and sudden displays of affection—a cycle that left her uncertain how to feel safe in a world of conditional love. Leve examines the chaos and long-term effects of her childhood under these conditions, and how the coping mechanisms she developed to survive later became obstacles in adulthood. While she had material comforts, emotional safety was absent except during summer visits to her father's home in South East Asia—visits that ended after he attempted to gain custody. Following the death of a caring caretaker, a series of replacements raised her, each relationship bringing intense attachment and loss. Only after moving to the other side of the world decades later could she begin to free herself from her past. Through her story, Leve explores the effects of chronic psychological maltreatment on a child's developing brain and seeks to understand how to build a life she never thought possible.