Confessions of a Slightly Neurotic Hitwoman: A Darkly Comic Thriller About a Talking Lizard, a Charming Mentor, and the Mob

Maggie Lee is an unconventional hitwoman who has never actually killed anyone. After a car accident that killed her sister, she suffered a head injury and now hears a talking lizard that only she can perceive—a creature obsessed with Wheel of Fortune and particular about food. Desperate to afford medical care for her injured, orphaned niece, Maggie accepts a lucrative offer from a mobster: kill his son-in-law in exchange for major payment. She is paired with Patrick Mulligan, a charming murder mentor who also works as a police detective, to guide her through the assignment. As Maggie navigates her new career, she contends with self-doubt, interference from three meddling aunts, a semi-psychic friend who predicts disaster, a job she dislikes, and Paul Kowalski, an attractive beat cop whose discovery of her activities could result in her arrest. Maggie must complete the job successfully—failure means becoming the mob's next target.