Dealing with Feeling: Use Your Emotions to Create the Life You Want

Marc Brackett, founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, examines how we respond to emotions and how this shapes our lives across career, relationships, and family. He explains that success in these areas depends largely on emotion regulation—how we handle challenging moments and the feelings they trigger. Brackett argues that emotion regulation is not an inborn trait but a set of learnable skills and strategies that develop over time through practice and refinement. He shares his own experiences with emotional challenges, reviews current scientific understanding of emotion regulation, and offers practical, evidence-based strategies for using emotions constructively. Central to his approach is the idea that no emotions are inherently bad—only misunderstood or misdirected. By developing stronger emotion regulation skills, people can improve their relationships, pursue their goals more effectively, and increase their overall well-being. The book shows how to work with emotions, both your own and others', to become your best self and support those around you.