Try Softer: A Fresh Approach to Move Us out of Anxiety, Stress, and Survival Mode--and into a Life of Connection and Joy

Therapist Aundi Kolber presents an approach to moving beyond anxiety, stress, and survival mode toward connection and joy. She argues that the cultural pressure to "try harder"—to keep going, hustling, and pretending everything is fine—leaves people exhausted, overwhelmed, and numb to their lives. Kolber contends that our bodies and minds are designed to work together to process difficult experiences and overcome obstacles. Using insights from psychology, clinical exercises, and her own story, she shows how to connect with your truest self and live differently. The book covers practical skills including setting emotional and relational boundaries, making sense of difficult experiences, identifying your attachment style and its effects on relationships, moving through emotions rather than becoming stuck in them, and developing self-compassion. Kolber frames this healing work as sacred, acknowledging that the journey won't be perfect or easy but describes it as what we were made for: a connected, feeling, incarnational life.