How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen

David Brooks offers a practical guide to understanding others deeply and building stronger connections in personal and professional relationships. He explores the core skill of seeing another person accurately—making them feel valued, heard, and understood—while acknowledging that many people feel invisible and misunderstood. Brooks addresses key questions about knowing others: what kind of attention to give, what conversations to have, and which parts of someone's story matter most. Drawing on psychology, neuroscience, theater, philosophy, history, and education, he presents an integrated approach to human connection. The book examines how seeing another person is a creative act and explores how looking deeply at someone can reveal something larger in both them and ourselves. Brooks argues this skill addresses broader societal challenges of fragmentation and misperception, offering a path toward greater understanding and the fulfillment that comes from being truly seen.